Divorce from self

Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing- Aristotle

Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants to be accepted. Everyone wants to fit in.

It's normal but in this journey of acceptance and fitting in, we become an approval addict. 

Most of us spend the entire life seeking approval from others. From teachers, role model or anyone, whom we want to impress. Even I used to take my father's approval before posting any blog post.

To prove we are capable, we start doing whatever they like, we start working in the direction which will make them happy.

I wish my thirteen-year-old self knew that I'm going to meet a lot of people whom I will eventually like and it's not mandatory that they'll like me back. And it's utterly stupid of me to do anything to please them.

In order to please them, we decide to not to focus on the feeling of self-satisfaction anymore. There cannot be any satisfaction without their approval. 

Orignal, raw ideas that give you the feeling of pride and satisfaction doesn't matter until it's approved by them.

Apart from the validation of teachers, role model, etc. We live in an era where social media validation is crucial. Where likes are the sign of approval. Because of this, social media tends to be addictive and it can shape you into someone who craves approval. 

You post something and get only 50 likes but it's not enough. You then need 51. Then 52.

 And then you post something and get only 6 likes. You are emotionally shattered. You delete that post even though you like that post.

How to let go the need for approval

Build a sound sense of self-acceptance. One should feel strong enough to go with what feels right for them without asking for other's approval. Evaluate yourself, grade yourself.

What I do- I maintain a self-appreciation journal. In which I write about the things I like about myself, the time when I've stayed true to my self.