The Key to Your Happiness Lies Within You

 How old were you when you realized you're the key to your own happiness? It took me almost 22 years. 2021 was the most difficult year of my life. I not only lost my father but also my best friend, my unpaid therapist with whom I used to confide, share, and pour out my heart. Most of the time, he didn’t have a solution to all of my problems, but just sharing with him used to solve most of them. I still can't figure out how he used to do it.  After him, I started looking for the same comfort in others: someone to talk to, someone to share an emotional connection, someone to make me happy. It took me a few heartbreaks, episodes of severe frustration, and lonely moments to realize that I’m the key to my own happiness. I’m the one who is in charge of my own happiness.  I can’t rely on anything else, whether living or non-living.

 

Here are a few things that helped me cope with the issues that eventually led me to this enlightenment:

 

1) Writing - Growing up alone made me friends with books and writing. I started journaling in second grade. People who know me are aware of how badly I want to be an author. So, writing came to rescue me again, like a knight in shining armour which I couldn’t find in guys.

 

2) It is what it is - Most of us make ourselves miserable over things that are not going to happen. I understand it is difficult to deal with unforeseen circumstances, but it is what it is. There is nothing you or any other person can do to change it. So why bother obsessing over thinking it should not be like this or it could have been like this? there’s absolutely no point obsessing over how things should be different.  This leads me to my third and last point.

 

3) Finding a solution - Now, when your unforeseen circumstances are not unseen anymore, and you are done crying and feeling miserable, you gotta figure out how you’re going to deal with it. Take out a pen and paper (no, don’t do it on your phone), jot down the problems, and give enough space after each problem so you can write your solutions and make yourself follow them for one week. If you see the changes, here is your motivation to follow it for one more week. If you don’t see the changes, figure out the reason behind it, write down the solution, and follow it for one week. The bottom line, take it one week at a time.

 

If you are going through a bad phase of your life and asking God, 'Why me? Why do all the bad things happen to me?' It’s because God thinks and knows that you’re strong. Strong enough to handle the situation you have been put in. If it does not kill you, it will make you stronger. So, love yourself and believe in yourself.